Archive for the ‘Halloween’ Tag

A Night in the Cellar

There was a couple and their two dogs in Transylvania who moved into an old haunted castle off an isolated road deep in the forest. The house was big and scary. The castle had 16 rooms, one of the rooms is a library, and at the stroke of midnight… comes alive with spirits. The legend of the library is that from midnight until one minute after midnight, anyone entering the library will see the ghosts, but will pay with their life!

Being new innkeepers, they decided to have a housewarming party and offer glasses of brandy to calm the nerves of their visitors. The innkeeper, Frank Freak, in preparation for the party, went into the cellar to gather the brandy. Being a good host Frank decided to sample the brandy. As has been known to happen in the past, Frank enjoyed the sampling, enjoyed it a bit too much. As Frank mellowed and the stresses of the day began to fade, he began to explore the far recesses of the cellar. Little did Frank know, but his every move was being watched, watched very closely by unseen eyes. With brandy bottle in hand, and fueled with the warm glow of the amber elixir, Frank moved deeper and deeper into the gloom of the cellar.

Suddenly a voice startled Frank, “Who are you?” Terrified, Frank dropped to his knees. “Who are you?” In the dimly lit cellar the voice terrified Frank all the more.

“My… my name is Frank.” Silence. “I said my name is Frank.” Frank’s heart was pounding so hard in his chest he was sure he could hear it beating in the stillness of the gloomy cellar. And if he could hear the sound of his beating heart, so could whatever malevolent spirit had spoken to him. “Are… are you there? Is anyone there?’

Looking down, Frank felt a chilling coolness and wet slime surrounding his feet. Frank tried to run.. But, alas, he was stopped in his tracks by the sight of Keith Moon, legendary drummer of the English power rock band The Who. One of the greatest of rock ‘n roll drummers confronted Frank, “Who are you?”

“Are you… I mean, I’m Frank. And you’re Keith Moon. But, you’re dead. Why are you in my cellar?”

“Doing penance for the bad things I said in life about Mick and the boys. I’m condemned for all eternity to rewrite over and over the band’s signature song.”

The cellar was suddenly rocked by an apparition of legendary proportion. Keith strolled to his drum kit to be joined by Jimi Hendricks on guitar, Freddie Mercury and Janis Joplin on vocals, and John Entwistle on bass. Rock music shook the cellar walls as Keith Moon began an unfamiliar rendition of The Who classic.

Who are you
What do you do.
Who are you
My lawyer will sue.

The band played a spirited set with occasional guest artists joining in. The Dead’s dead Jerry Garcia was smok’in, Elvis brought his pelvis, and Michael Jackson his thriller. When the music died it was just Frank and Moon the Loon alone in the quiet of the cellar.

With ears still ringing from the amplified music, Frank thanked Keith for the concert. Still confused, he asked, “Keith, I get the whole penance thing. Still, rewriting a classic over and over, that’s a bitch. But what I don’t get is what are you doing in my cellar?”

Keith’s head dropped to his chest and he sighed. “I’m decomposing.”